Last night it just hit me that today was going to be the last day I nurse my baby. God was just really clear. I got in the bath with Jamie and I told him, "Tomorrow morning when we wake up we are not going to have a nummy ok?" He seemed to be okay with it. " I explained everything we would do. "First we will get up and go to Dunkin Donuts and a get a special treat. Then we will come home and get ready to go over to GaGa and Pop Pops for Thanksgiving. Then we will sit in Mommy's favorite chair where she reads her Bible and we will have our last nummy before the babies come." He agreed, pretty willingly. And when we got up this morning that is exactly what we did. He was upset when I refused to nurse him when he woke up, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. When it was time to have the last nummy, he was really happy about it. (Although I'm pretty sure he was happy to be nursing randomly during the day, not happy it was his last nummy.) We sat in my favorite chair, the chair I first held him in and nursed him in when we got home from the hospital. I let him nurse as long as he liked. We talked to each other about nummy and I sang him his nummy songs.
"Yummy yummy yummy I've got nummy in my tummy, nummy really fills me up right!" and "Him works hard for hims nummy uh huh uh huh, so hard for hims nummy him works hard for hims nummy and it really fills hims tummy uh huh uh huh." The second one always makes him giggle because I make a funny face during the "uh huh" part.
Timmy took pictures and a video... and then all of the sudden my baby just hopped up and ran into the other room. I said "Are you sure you're finished?" and he simply replied "uh huh." and that was it. Obviously I cried, not sobs, but I was sad. I needed my moment and now I will move on. Timmy sweetly reminded me that I will soon be pregnant and have many more years of nummy ahead of me.
I love you sweet, dear little boy. May mommy's hugs, kisses and love loves fill your heart and give you peace just as your nummy always has since the morning you were born.
Thinking about you today. Hope its going okay and that you are looking forward to this new chapter in your life. The future is hopeful!
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Lauren