so i have some deep thoughts I want to share with my Jamie man, as the main purpose of this blog is for it to be printed and bound and kept for him to read one day. And just a disclaimer, buddy, this is an entry you are not to read until you are at least 16 years old or so!
Lately I have realized that we only get one life. Sounds pretty simple, but now that I am in my thirties and I am reflecting on my twenties it is really hitting home. Let me say this before I proceed, I don't edit my posts really and I am not interested in writing a literary masterpiece, so I may be random and scattered, but I'm hoping, Jamie boy, that you get the idea!
Okay so the main idea of this post is to be careful who you date before you are ready to get married. If I could have a do over I would not have dated. I would have courted, or since I am a girl I would have been courted. So the difference is when you date, in today's world, you end up giving a lot of yourself away. Well let me speak in terms of me. I gave a part of myself away that I can never get back. Its not that I was in bad relationships, well they were a little nutty from time to time, but the fact is I wish I could have saved my whole self for your daddy. I also wish the 2 boys that I was in relationships with could have saved themselves for their wives and I wish your daddy could have saved himself for me. When I say saved I mean physically and emotionally. The fact is Jamie from the time you are 18 to the time you are 30 can get crazy. I'm not going to sit here and say I didn't have fun, because I had a lot of fun, but I also had a really really really wounded heart. I will say that your daddy is the only boy who never hurt me! I know that you are going to have time in your life where you are sad, let down or disappointed, but I really believe that God can save you from a wounded heart when it comes to love. It is possible to wait to give yourself away. I have seen it happen. It may mean that you get married young. I would be just fine with that. But I pray that you will only love one girl in your life time and that girl will only love you. Don't let people tell you that this doesn't happen in the real world. The Bible says to no longer conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of our spirits in Jesus. We may have to live in this world, but we do not have to be of this world.
And also know that there are times in life where you won't have anymore chances. If you love a girl then sacrifice yourself for her, because you may loose her if you let her go. If you love her, be crazy in love with her and treat her like a princess. I know, baby boy, that you are going to be an adventurous one, but adventure won't keep you company when you are old. It won't give you children and grandchildren. It won't love you back.
Today, even though you are only 3 years old, I was trying to explain some of this to you. Here's how the conversation went...
Me- Jamie who do you want to be your wife
You- (pointing to me)
Me- (melting inside) Well you kinda have to pick someone your age
Me- ok, well thats it then you can't pick anymore girls just her
You- well how about Natalie and Sequoia too
Me- well you can only have one wife
Me- well daddy only has one wife...me, mommy
You- Natalie then
Me- well you make sure she nurses her babies until they wanna stop and lets them sleep in bed with you
You- (blank stare)
I know this was a totally silly conversation and completely inappropriate for a 3 year old, but I will be having it with you again in some form when you are age appropriate. And I'm not going to discuss it once, it will be an ongoing discussion. Every parent wants their children to learn from their mistakes. I hope you can learn from mine.
So to sum it up. No one on one dating for a long long long long time. Go out in groups and get to know girls as friends. If you find yourself attracted to one of them pray pray pray pray pray pray. If you really feel the Lord leading you to this girl and you are 18 or older then court her. Talk to her parents and let them know your intentions. You can hold her hand, but make that the limit. Talk to her for hours on end and share your dreams with her. Ask her questions about herself and what she wants from life. Is Jesus the center of her world? Does she want children? Does she want to stay at home with them. Does she want to travel? What makes her smile? (Do those things a lot) What makes her cry? (Don't do those things ever!) Love her heart. Wait until after she is your wife to become intimate with her. This is God's will. Intimacy outside of marriage leads to so much pain. Save you heart for one girl, buddy. Just do it! You will be so happy you did!
I love you James Monaghan!